Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Southern Fair Unstereotypical Compared to Expectations

The Salem Fair, the largest free gate fair in Virginia, wasn't as wild as we were warned, especially since I'm from the North and this fair was in the heart of the South.

Now, I've been to Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Virginia, West Virginia, the Carolinas and people know how to pull off the horrible fake southern dialect. There's also this dirty stereotype that involves the South sometimes, or at least Kentucky, with incest and all those gory family messes, two-headed babies, no teeth and chewin' tabaccy.

A mutual friend warned Steph and I that we were going to see a wad of people that were just simply gross. I expected overalls and bad mullets. I hoped to see Carhart in all its glory. I wanted faded tatoos on tanned skin, overweight people in tight clothes and missing teeth. I wanted thongs to hang out of over-alls. I was a bit disappointed. Instead of Southern Trash, it was tame -- and dare I say, nothing compared to what the Indiana State Fair can bring in.

I know...I was shocked, too.

The only nasties that walked around were the teenagers trying to crotch and camel-toe their way around the fair, eating their greasy food, feeding their zits so they reached the size of pop-worthy madness.

But discusting teenagers can be found anywhere...they're just getting started with all that sex-drive, trying desperately to catch up with society. Or beat society at it's own game. Or Britney Spears. Now, if I saw her at the fair...then, yes, it would've been worse than the Indiana State Fair.

The only thing that made it almost unbearable was the amount of smoking -- that and the usual high priced vendors.