Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Dear John, I mean...er....Blog

Dear Blog,

It's not that I hate you. It isn't that at all! Stop. Stop saying that! You know it isn't true. I wouldn't even make that comparison to you and Facebook. It's just, well. People read Facebook. They don't read you. The only thing that reads you are strange "bots" that leave insane comments in broken English about penis enlargements.

I know, I know. It's practically like you're being sexually assaulted. I suppose, really, that you are being sexually assaulted. Did you ever read Michael Crichton's "Disclosure"? I mean, if a blog were to ever sue...

(And because I wrote that to you, blog, more "bots" are going to sign on and post more broken English comments, assaulting you more.)

What I'm trying to say is that I get all wrapped up in the mundane postings of my Facebook status that 60+ people might read, and I just...like the attention. I do. People can "like" my status, and it's instant gratification. It's why I even bother writing things...because I want people to read. I would say because people don't read anymore and I want to bring that all back into the light, but blog, you know that's not true.

What is true, is that I'm just a boy, standing in front of this blog, asking it to love him.