Monday, January 18, 2010

Licking Pee

We went to the zoo today. It was totally not the right time to go since it was 30 degrees and all the cool animals, like zebras and giraffes, weren't outside in "the prairie." Could I sound anymore like a teenager?

It was "free" today, with the donation of a canned good. Although the winter isn't the best time to visit the zoo, since many of the animals that I would love to see (like the elephant and the leemer and the gazelle) weren't out and about, there was still plenty to see, especially the monkeys.

At this point in the day, I didn't care what the animals' names were since my feet were frozen and we'd be walking all afternoon (my lower back has been experiencing stiffness lately, and it had eased into its un-Gumby-ness for the day). We came upon the monkey cage, and two monkeys were hanging around and climbing from tree, to net, to fence.

Then, the tan-colored monkey came over to us, clung onto the fence and then started squirting pee. As the jet-stream shot out from his little behind-privates, he reached his little monkey hand down to it and ran his hand in it. He was peeing all over his hand, and brought the wet hand to its lips and started licking it. He peed some more on his hand, and then licked it again.

I know it was cold, and the monkeys weren't probably made for this kind of cold (and I know pee is warm, I get it, I really do), but to pee on its hand...?

Can't someone make those little friends some gloves? Preferably with little grippies so they don't lose their climbing abilities?

If I'm ever out in the cold and I need to warm my hands, I won't put it past myself to pee on them. I won't lick it, however. I can only stoop so low.