Saturday, August 27, 2011

My students were convinced that I was 39!

In my own spasmodic way, I addressed my fifth period class with a simple, "I have a theme idea!"

My kids (I call them "my kids" because I feel like I can take some ownership of them after spending so much time with them) are working on yearbook themes: the verbal phrase and the visual look the yearbook will have for the year. 

They asked what it was and I announced it: "Explosive!" 

Puzzled looks were on their faces. "What's that mean?"

I avoided that question and instead drove toward the colors I chose to go with my exciting theme of "Explosive!"

"The colors that will go with this theme will be brown and yellow!" I shouted. I waited to see if my kids would catch on. Some of them did. They made faces, the type that say, "that's gross, Mr. Williams."

It's the same face I get if I burp out loud (but I always excuse myself).

To help explain the theme further, I told them the word "Explosive! would have bits of corn in it. And one of the main shapes we would use throughout the book would be ovals!

"Like a toilet bowl!" I exclaimed, in case they weren't using their inference skills (which they should be doing because we practice them on Fridays).

Then one of my kids said that I was immature. I told them that I had to keep it real, especially when I just turned 39.

"What?" they said. "You're not 39!"

"Yes I am!" I lied, but very convincingly.

"You look like you're in your twenties..."

"That's such a nice compliment. It's because I have a young face," I said. "And with a strict regimen of yoga and herbal supplements, I've managed to stay young looking," I said.

"Wow," they said, beginning to believe me.

And then after a long pause while they digested this information, I shouted, "People! I just turned 30!"

"I KNEW IT!" one of my kids shouted.

After that, I told them to get to work.