Thursday, November 01, 2012

Giddyup!


Oh, Apocalyptica. Never cease, you won't.

Dystopian nonsense continues to ravage pop culture. I do enjoy said nonsense, hence these notes I have constructed. I am happy to be on the same wavelength as pop culture extraordinaire J.J. Abrams whose name is attached to such shows as "LOST" and "Fringe" (yes, and "Felicity" from when the WB existed, too).

His most recent concoction of crazy is "Revolution." I have only watched the first episode, which I enjoyed, but I haven't gotten caught up with this series about life after the power goes out. I'm too busy keeping up with my current life where the power is on.

But, just like the people on the east coast who have filled bath tubs with water and raided stores to prepare for Hurricane Sandy, I too must prepare -- not necessarily for something so immanent, but when the end does come, I need to make sure I get some horses -- just like the characters on "Revolution."

I don't expect the power to go out completely. Similar to "The Walking Dead" on AMC and "The Twelve" by Justin Cronin, I would expect the power to last for a little while. I do expect travel by automobile to become difficult -- I mean, all the movies and TV shows keep showing me that cars and trucks will be at a stand-still in the middle of important highways across the U.S, making travel difficult.

A motorcycle will do, of course, since it can weave in and around stopped traffic. But you know what else weaves around?

Horses.

Plus, they have a silky mane.

Since we're going to have to travel around by foot, why not use real horse power. First, though, we'll need to re-read all of Laura Ingalls Wilder's books to see how it was done. Since people are going to raid the library and steal a bunch of books (I'm sure there are others out there that think like me), they're going to go after all the books on how to raise horses, ride them and care for them.

We'll dodge heartbreak in the nonfiction section and go straight to the W's. I'm sure "Farmer Boy" has some tips in there, if we just read slowly and use our ability to make inferences.

I could also travel down Highway 32 and make nice with some of the people that really do own horses. Let's just hope they don't pull a shot gun on me when I knock on the door. For some reason, when the "end" does come in movies and TV shows, people are always answering doors with shot guns.

Why not mace? Or a mace? Nun chucks?

Since money will be obsolete in times like these, salt and a few spools of alpaca yarn should do the trick. I would have to ride the horse bareback all the way back to my village (yeah, they're called villages now), and for the time being keep him (or her) in the back yard with the alpacas. It'll be much easier to visit the neighboring town to barter and trade, knowing my horse will travel at the speed of sound.

Now, it's time to start a list of names for my horses.