Saturday, January 03, 2015

Number Three


Nigra (on the left) changes the rules on us all the time. She writes her own, and then, when she tires of that routine, changes how the evening should commence.

Maeve (on the right) decides to follow along. Older sister knows best.

Nigra used to get goodies (treats, cookies, whatever you want to call them) once a night. It was usually around 7 p.m. or when we thought about it.

A long time ago, she decided to approach us and lick her lips, telling us when she was ready for her nightly goody.

At one point, she pulled out her scroll, reworked the amendment for her nightly goody, and decided it needed to happen right after her 5 p.m. meal and no later.

The way she makes sure she gets her way is by incessant whining. She will not rest, and nor will we, when she gets her way. Her resolve is admirable.

Later, after she tired of just getting one treat after dinner, she unrolled her personal Constitution and declared that not only will she receive one treat after dinner, she shall receive a second one later on in the evening.

This was petitioned by many lobbyists, which all looked very similar to Nigra, and by order of the whine, the bill was made into law. An Amendment was added to her Constitution.

We would be fools to veto.

Nigra needs to run for Congress. That 16 percent approval rating they face right now would change because Nigra is a girl who knows how to get things done.

We were purchasing bags of treats more frequently, and at this point Maeve was now a member of our family, so that's two treats a night for two puppies. It doesn't matter if you vote with your pocketbook or not, these girls needed their nightly double treats.

Then, Nigra began approaching us at around 9 p.m. with a determined look in her eyes, a lick on her lips, and a whine in her throat.

This girl wasn't settling for two treats a night. She worked hard each day protecting our house from the mailman and trying to train Maeve in her ways. It was time for a third, and this time there was an additional lobbyist on her side.

Nigra's whine, aided with Maeve's high-pitched bark, persuaded us to give them one treat right after they ate dinner at 5 p.m, another one around 7 p.m., and a third (and final) at 9 p.m.

When they approach us, we ask if they are ready for "number two" or we ask each other if they've had "number three." The other night, I made the number two with my fingers, and Maeve leapt off the couch in glee, ready for her next treat.

I don't remember teaching them those hand signals.

Lately, Nigra tries to get all three right after dinner. We tell her she needs to pace herself, and that three is all she will be getting. There have been pursuits for a fourth, but it seems like this Puppy Congress is trying vote itself a raise. We are having none of that. We are already doling out 42 treats a week.

Well, OK, not that many, because we have learned to break them in half, but it's not until you have Nigra as your Speaker of the House will you understand.