Saturday, March 04, 2017

Excerpts from "The History of the Academy of Amusing" by Edgar Spoon

Excerpts taken from "The History of the Academy of Amusing" by Edgar Spoon

Slated as the second oldest academic institution in the United States, next to Harvard, The Academy of Amusing was born out of necessity in 1680. The brewing tensions between the early American colonies and English rule activated a need for divisive rhetoric, but such oration needed sophisticated execution. Without the aid of muses, trained in political diction, argument and writing, the United States may never have been. (Spoon, pg. 2)

The Academy of Amusing is the ninth and final institution built devoted to the amusing education of Naturals and Ordinaries, alike. Each institution houses the remains of one of the Nine Muses. These muses, originally of mythological lore, were discovered to have once been living by the Greek historian Polybius. The remains were discovered under the Acropolis sometime around 200 BC.

These remains, mere bone fragments in today's modern age, contain the elements of magic and power that modern muses pull their abilities from. Naturalists, or modern muses that amuse with the aid of a special supernatural ability, are said to be descendents of the Nine. (Spoon, pg. 7)

As the final institution built to house the last of the Nine, the muse Thalia's remains are stored in a crypt underneath The Academy of Amusing. Because of the sui generis of each muses's remains, the nine academies have acquired different metaphysical states.

For example, the school located in Russia, housing the bones of Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, looks run-down and abandoned to visitors, until members of the Russian Academy step foot on campus. It is then seen as a vibrant school -- one of the most beautiful campuses devoted to amusing.

As the muse of comedy, Thalia's remains are the reason the Academy of Amusing floats up and down New England and parts of the southern United States. Students and faculty are to remain on campus the entire year, except for the three times it stops so it can be located: at the end of the spring semester, at the start of the fall semester, and during winter holiday. (Spoon, pg. 9)