Sunday, March 19, 2017

I was informed that Jeremy had half a soul


Author's Note: Typically my Interesting Characters are a chance for me to write about a random fictional personality, an exercise to stretch my writing muscles. Lately, I've been writing about real people that were interesting characters. I may meet a few more down the road, but none of them will be as interesting as Jeremy. 

The main goal for the night was to be as 90's as possible and play a vampire storytelling game. 

Three of us, my friends Beth, Jessie, and I, went to someone's apartment to play. This wasn't just a teen's apartment, sans parents for the evening. This apartment belonged to the teen. There was a sign on the door that said "no parents allowed," and although I was a naive former-Catholic school pupil, going to an apartment whose sole proprietor couldn't rent a car was a bit worrisome. 

The apartment belonged to Maria. She sat in the middle of the living room, sucking down tequila shots complete with lime and salt sans glass. It was just her, the bottle, limes, and a salt shaker. It was more of an incantation performance than simple shots. It was like she had something to prove.

Perched around the room were other teenagers. The only other one I remember was the guy by the window, smoking. It wasn't a cigarette.

My friends and I sat for a few when Maria's boyfriend, Jeremy, materialized. He was a warlock. This is how I could tell: he had long wavy hair past his shoulder, he was shirtless, wore black jeans, and was barefoot.

And because he was shirtless, the power of his pecs called forth my two friends. He beckoned. They stood up and followed.

I was stuck with Maria, and her tequila voodoo, along with the hunchback by the window. To say I was really uncomfortable was beyond an understatement.

Jessie and Beth followed Jeremy to the end of the hallway and they all disappeared, shrouded by the light of the bathroom.

The door closed.

I was all alone.

As an adult, thinking back to this bizarre encounter, how was Maria okay with two girls following her buff shirtless boyfriend? To the bathroom? With the door shut?

Oh yeah, I forgot, tequila voodoo. Maria wasn't all there.

So I waited. And waited. My soul felt soiled as I sat in the dank living room of the ill-behaved as they recreated their own Pleasure Island.

I don't know how long I sat there, but it felt like over an hour.

Then, the bathroom door opened and all three came out.

Now free from their warlock captor, it was time to go. It took awhile for me to convince them, I mean, they didn't get to interact with any of these other people, since they went straight back to the bathroom with shirtless Jeremy.

Doing whatever it is you do with a warlock wearing only black jeans.

I practically had to push them both out, but we left. I wanted to go home. I'd had enough, but we went to McDonald's for a few.

And this is where they told me the shocking news about Jeremy, now that we were safe from his warlock harem. 

What they had discovered while in the bathroom.

"Jeremy has half a soul!" they gasped.

I didn't have the heart to tell them, that after they had abandoned me for over an hour in a living room full of gargoyles, now I also had half a soul.